Caution: this one is a little tough to read

Today I want to scream. I am angry today. I am teaching at the CAC tonight (I'm on break). For some reason I am having a hard time being here tonight. The whole environment. Knowing I am not an integral part of it anymore. Knowing that I was removed because of stupid money issues. The dream situation gone. I am really sick and tired of having my fate in the hands of others. Did I really have much value where I used to be? I hope this is just a phase. I'm sure it is. Tomorrow will prove better? I wonder what am I doing here at CCC. Why am I still hanging around. I know that a lot of people around here care deeply about myself and my family. I KNOW and FEEL that. It is the only thing that keeps me going with regards to sticking around. But, I don't know, it is really hard to hang around here right now. I just want to finish the last lesson and get the heck out of here. No one's fault today. Lessons are going ok. Maybe I am getting a little scared too. I mean, when the $ run out by the end of May, it could be a challenging adventure. The economy is rough. I am concerned for my family. Nothing else matters right now other than I want them to be cared for.

I think tonight me and God need to spend some extra time. I prefer listening but there might be more talking on my end. I really need to converse with Him.

So, I am angry today (can't you tell?). This blog is all about honesty. I hope you understand if you are bothering to read this. It's just where I am today. Please take it for what it is. We can have fun sometimes and, well, have days like today. I have to admit, it feels a little better when I can type this to the world!

Thanks.