A Play, A Service, A Painting

Friday night at the show was cool. It wasn't as bad for me to be there as I thought. Well, it could have been. I did walk into the YB, that was weird unto itself. However, my parents and Mary's mom were there as were the kids. There were some people that I wanted to talk to and that made it all the better. Plus, and this was the biggest help, I got a great card from Bill and Rachel. Man, talk about easing the situation. It was a Bat Mizphah card! (Bat is for a girl - funny). They didn't know what would be the proper card. It WAS the proper card! I laughed a long time while sitting in the theatre. The play was great. There were definitely strong performances and some weaker ones. My 3 favorites (in no particular order):

• Marred Bliss: This was the best Mary has ever been on the stage. Hands down. She is getting so much better each time I see her act. It is awesome to see her grow as an actress. I am so proud of her. But, spousal bias aside, it was still a very well done scene. Very funny moments. I understood one of the actors was quite sick. I never knew.
• Sue Me: The Bramletts (Eric and Kristi) are such pros. I have filmed the play Guys and Dolls before at some playhouses (plus like seeing the movie). Very enjoyable with the singing and quick, witty dialogue. It was like they were born for the part!
• Sure Thing: Tim Bakker was a stand in I hear? Wow. Very funny.

As an honorable mention was Love Letter. The material didn't wow me but the sheer power of Carrie and Elic Bramlett's acting/singing gifts made it very enjoyable to watch and listen. Yeah, those Bramletts are also such pros.

It would have been nice to have had mic's set up for some of the actors. Some of the lines from some actors were hard to hear. It could have been because the band got a little loud at times.

I found that it was easier to detach myself a little from the YB while there. I know I was hearing that some couldn't help thinking that they might have made a miss or two with their decision on some that were let go. Well, they all will have to do what they can. Not to be crass, but it's not my problem. I don't see myself in the YB anytime soon. Maybe even a long time - if at all. It wasn't until after I got home that I finally figured out what it was like: ever have one of those dreams where you end up back at a house where you used to live but it felt weird because you knew that you didn't belong there? Because you had already moved out? It was something like that. What was home wasn't home anymore. It was sad when I thought of it. But, that is already water under the bridge...

Sunday morning I went to service at 11am at Romeoville. I have to say that it was close to a game time decision. There are some that still say it was amazing I ever considering going. But, I did. Many of the gang there are like my family. And, I can say this looking back, for some reason I didn't have the feeling of being in a home I didn't belong. I can't explain it. I am glad now that I went but I almost left. All those emotions came rolling back ("Tito, I need a tissue..."). We sat towards the front but way off to the corner. Not many could really see we were there. I love so many of the people there. However, and this was the HARDEST part: Katrina broke down towards the end. She is really struggling hard with all this. She doesn't feel that she should be worship leading at Stuco anymore. I know a part of her is very angry with what happened to me. She is trying to find ways of dealing with it. I don't want her to stop serving. However, I am going to honor her decision, if that is what she sticks with. It breaks my heart to see that. See, this is one part of the afteraffects of what happens when you let someone like me go. Now, that makes be a bit more bitter when I see that. CCC means a lot to my kids and to see how it is affecting them!!! Well...know what, let's move on. I think I've ranted enough this past week. Alec is still excited about trying out to play bass. I am going to help him in any way that I can.

I am afraid that it will still be game time decisions for a while on whether to go on the next number of Sundays. I think playing is still a long ways off - if at all.

This coming week I am going to be meeting with various people to help out with me on a direction to go from here. I can say that it is a bit exciting in a way. It is an open book. Let me close with a picture that has been in my mind the last few days:

I am an artist standing before a blank, white canvas. I stand in front of it with a brush in my hand. A wide array of paint colors are off to my side. At this very moment, I have the brush held high. I look to those paint-colors. What will the the first color I choose? How will I start the painting? What will be the first brushstroke? For what I decide to create will be the next thing that God has set forth for me. He is the master artist. He will guide my hand...